Managing boundaries at Christmas

For those of us who struggle with what we’d really like to do and what we feel obliged to do at Christmas maybe boundaries will help.

A boundary is “The space you need to be the real you without pressure from others to be something that you’re not” (like a party person, or a perfect guest).

What does a Christmas boundary sound like?

"No thank you, I won’t be joining you this time, but have fun!"
"Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do lunch for everyone this year, perhaps another year. Would someone else like to volunteer this year?"
"Great, I would love to pop in and see you all, but I have another commitment later on."
"Yes, I’d love to join you but I won’t be staying all weekend as I also need to get some rest."

Remember

Communicate clearly and assertively, repeat your response if necessary (preferably in exactly the same words)
You don’t have to explain yourself, provide an excuse or an alternative solution.
Be clear and then make sure that you follow through.
If it’s easier plant the seed this year that you will be doing something different next year.

Don’t feel guilty, practice beforehand, it’s not all your responsibility.

Have a happy, healthy, peaceful and boundaried Christmas.